These Advice shared by A Parent Which Saved Me during my time as a First-Time Father

"In my view I was just in survival mode for a year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the difficulties of fatherhood.

However the actual experience quickly proved to be "completely different" to what he'd imagined.

Life-threatening health issues surrounding the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was forced into becoming her main carer while also caring for their infant son Leo.

"I took on every night time, every change… every stroll. The job of both parents," Ryan explained.

Following 11 months he became exhausted. That was when a chat with his own dad, on a public seat, that made him realise he required support.

The straightforward words "You aren't in a healthy space. You must get support. How can I assist you?" opened the door for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and find a way back.

His experience is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. While the public is now better used to talking about the strain on mothers and about postpartum depression, less is said about the difficulties dads go through.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan feels his challenges are linked to a wider reluctance to open up between men, who still internalise negative ideas of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets hit and stays upright with each wave."

"It's not a display of weakness to request help. I failed to do that soon enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to accept they're struggling.

They can think they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - particularly in front of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental well-being is just as important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad provided him with the chance to take a pause - going on a short trip away, away from the family home, to see things clearly.

He understood he had to make a adjustment to pay attention to his and his partner's emotional states as well as the day-to-day duties of caring for a infant.

When he was honest with Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she needed" -reassuring touch and hearing her out.

Reparenting yourself'

That epiphany has transformed how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his experiences as a dad, which he hopes his son will see as he matures.

Ryan hopes these will help his son to more fully comprehend the vocabulary of feelings and make sense of his parenting choices.

The notion of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen lacked stable male parenting. Even with having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, deep-held emotional pain caused his father struggled to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, complicating their relationship.

Stephen says suppressing emotions led him to make "bad decisions" when in his youth to alter how he was feeling, finding solace in drink and drugs as escapism from the anguish.

"You find your way to things that are harmful," he notes. "They may temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will in the end exacerbate the problem."

Tips for Managing as a New Father

• Share with someone - if you're feeling swamped, tell a friend, your partner or a professional what you're going through. This can to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Maintain your passions - keep doing the pursuits that allowed you to feel like you before becoming a parent. This might be exercising, seeing friends or gaming.
• Look after the body - a good diet, staying active and when you can, resting, all are important in how your emotional health is coping.
• Spend time with other first-time fathers - sharing their experiences, the challenges, along with the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that seeking help isn't failing - prioritising your own well-being is the best way you can care for your household.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen naturally had difficulty processing the loss, having had no contact with him for years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's resolved not to "continue the chain" with his boy and instead give the safety and emotional guidance he missed out on.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - managing the feelings safely.

The two men Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they acknowledged their struggles, altered how they express themselves, and taught themselves to control themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… sitting with things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I expressed that in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I expressed, at times I believe my purpose is to teach and advise you what to do, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I am understanding just as much as you are in this journey."